One for YOUR heart. How to find the right psychedelic guide or coach

I will not rescue you
for you are not powerless

I will not fix you
for you are not broken

I will not heal you
for I see you in your wholeness

I will walk with you
through your darkness
as you remember your light.

(a medicine woman’s prayer)

Hey loves,

the world of transformation is shimmering with promise. Yet, not every fire warms you, not every hand can hold your hand, not everyone can guide you subtly into your own heart.

When it comes to choosing the person that will sit with you, walk beside you, or hold space for you in altered states, conventional therapy, or coaching - your discernment is sacred.

Because in these liminal spaces, what you need most is not someone who shoes up with arrogance.

You need someone who knows how to listen.

To bow.

To be in presence with what is.

Someone that doesn’t perform power, but holds it lightly.

Someone who invites you home to you.

This isn’t about credentials, followers, or aesthetic. It is about how your body feels in their presence. The quality of their attention. How they can sit comfortably in your pain, not just your bliss.

Someone that is takes this work very serious. Yet someone, that doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

Here are some signs, you have found a guide worth trusting:

🌸 Integration is not optional

Ceremony is only the spark. Integration is the work. A true guide walks with you after the fire burns low. They know that what happens after a journey is as sacred as what happens during. They help you root your experience into your body, your breath, your life. They ask you “what will you do with this insight? Who will you become now?” And they walk with you while you figure out the answers.

🌸 Humility is the prayer

A beautiful guide does not see themselves as your healer, but as your witness. He is someone that believes that you already carry your own healing blueprint inside of you. They honor the power of the medicine and the lineages they come from.

They don’t need to prove their magic. Their groundedness speaks louder than than their bio. They know the medicine flows through, not from, them.

If someone speaks as if they know it all - please run. Safety is found in humility.

🌸 Empowering not saving

If a guide’s language centers around “I healed them”, “I opened them” - pause. A trustworthy guide empowers you to walk your own path, with their support as scaffolding, not a pedestal.

A good guide doesn’t need your worship and you don’t need them to save you.

🌸 Trauma awareness and nervous system literacy

Safe containers are not built with sage and good vibes alone. They require attunement, consent, and deep respect for your body’s thresholds.

The right guide has done and continues to do their own shadow work. They know how to spot spiritual bypassing. They know how to slow down. They welcome all parts of you.

🌸 They make love to their own grief

A guide who cannot touch their own sorrow cannot hold yours. Look for someone who is not afraid to meet their own depths. Someone that continues to metabolize their pain into presence.

🌸 Consent & boundaries

A guide that is gold is a safe place. Not, because you sign a consent form, but how they speak to you. How they ask permission. How they respect your sacred NO. How they hold your YES with care.

🌸 Lived integrity

Are they walking the walk? Do they treat the medicine, lineage and clients with reverence? Are they transparent about their own support systems, continued educations, and limitations? They have a space where they are being held. Where they are asked to reflect, to grow, to unlearn.

Real guides don’t pretend to be gurus. They are in the work with you.

🌸 Clarity

A good guide knows the edge of their offering. They don’t promise the moon. If they hold ceremonial space, they don’t pretend it’s therapy. If they are a coach, they are not diagnosing you. Safety in clarity.

🌸 Resonance

Your nervous system knows. Your intuition knows.

Read their words, watch their presence, feel into their invitations and trust your body.

Does something inside you exhale when you connect with them? That is the divine data.

There are many brilliant guides. And you are allowed to ask questions, to follow your instincts, to say no and to find the perfect fit.

This is your body, your heart, your sacred becoming.

Choose someone who treats it as such.

Your soul is not a performance.

You are not here to be impressed. You are here to be met. To be deeply witnessed. To be held while you remember your own medicine.

The right guide doesn’t save you. They remind you that you were never lost.

If you are seeking someone to walk beside you, I offer coaching, ceremony and am a certified integration guide.

Whether we meet on this path or not, I hope this piece was helpful to you in finding the right fit.

I believe your healing is holy.

My current offerings -

I’m too alone in the world, yet not alone enough

to make each hour holy.

I’m to small in the world, yet not small enough

to be simply in your presence, like a thing —

just as it is.

I want to know my own will

and to move with it.

And I want, in the hushed moments

when the nameless draws near,

to be among the wise ones —

or alone.

I want to mirror your immensity.

I want never to be too weak or too old

to bear the heavy, lurching image of you.

I want to unfold.

Let no place in me hold itself closed,

for where I am closed, I am false.

I want to stay clear in your sight.

I just updated my coaching container called “Sacred unfolding” inspired by this beautiful poem by Rilke. I am available in-person in Oklahoma City and virtual worldwide. If you are a woman or know a woman who could benefit deeply from this please help share my medicine.

In September I am hosting the first round of my group container “Blush, self pleasure as prayer”. You can read more here, or here.

I believe so whole heartedly in self pleasure as sacred medicine and I hope will join me in exploring how to build your own ceremonial self pleasure practice that can guide you more deeply into your knowing, your self-love and your pleasure.

If you are curious about Hapé, sacred tobacco medicine come sit with me, or contact me about a virtual hape coaching.

I also just posted the next couple months of “Sauna & Drum” for booking. The next one will be in July and I have four spaces available.

If you are local, be on the lookout. My July and August events will be posted this coming week.

With so much love,

a bit of wildness in my heart

and always in softness,

Eva