Friends,
this last week I kept meditating on two archetypes, the wolf woman and the mother. In just a few days the January full moon will light up our night. The first, the inaugural full moon of the year, the wolf moon will shimmer through the cold winter air and with it it will bring whispers of fresh starts and cycles reborn.
Named after the wolves whose haunting howls could be heard around the land in Januarys past this moon is one for crying out, for making ourselves heard. A moon for self expression.
It is a time that invites me and you, mother, to have our silent cries be heard, as loud howls carried by the wind.
As mothers, we are generally overstressed and under expressed. Constantly tangled in the web of achingly beautiful love and the overwhelm that comes from caring so much, from carrying so much.
Sacred Mother, is me. As a young woman I have not so much longed to become a mother, but have always had this deep knowing that mothering will be part of my path. Not necessarily my purpose, but a a tool to live out my purpose, a source of growth and understanding. In the past nine years I have carried three babies and birthed them at home. Like the goddess Inanna I passed through the seven gates of hell, each removing a piece of me, stripping me of my power until I arrived, naked, with a baby in hand, re-born.
Every passing day, I nurture and nourish and love on these children, often to the point of utter depletion. I am the embodied archetype of the mother, a source of strength and care, a force of warmth and guidance. Deep within me there is the knowing that I am vital to the larger tapestry of life, that my wisdom, my instincts and my gift to sustain and renew my surrounding is vital for the earth community. I carry the mother proudly and yet,
like so many mothers around me though, I often find myself in the shadows of the mother archetype. Here in the shadows, I am not seen. In the shadow, I have forsaken the wolf-woman, the wolf mother and have given myself over to over-giving, over-extending, self-sacrifice. The martyr mother.
As Dr. Christena Cleveland, a social psychologist and director of the Center for Justice and Renewal is quoted in Shannon K. Evans book “Rewilding motherhood”:
“Self-sacrifice as the pathway to significance’ is one of whitemalegod’s most impressive deceptions. He’s constantly demanding our self-sacrifice because what better way to keep people in bondage to white patriarchy’s dehumanizing hierarchy than to teach them that the more they sacrifice on behalf of the whole, the more significant they will be.”
Mothers today are mostly recognized if they embody the archetype of the sexless and pious mother. A being devoid of her sensuality, her intuition and her innate wilderness, she has been conditioned to give her all for the sake of love and care. She carries it all, and she carries it all silently and with a quiet contentment. Do not complain mother, do not howl at the moon, do not gather with the wise women around you and whatever you do, do not dare to live out the wolf woman within you.
The wolf mother embodies a profound essence of strength within the packs. She is nurturing and protective, teaching the vulnerable pups the essential skills needed, but it is not a solitary journey. It’s a collaborative effort within the pack. Cooperative parenting is the norm, as other adults in the pack join forces in caring for youngness. The wolf mother, often part of the alpha pair, contributes to structure and order and fosters a tightly knit pack, of cooperation, communication and shared strength in the face of the wild. She is revered within her pack.
She is the face of nurturing care and sensual, feminine strength.
The crusades, the burning times, the rise of the patriarchy, the doing away of the great mother all have killed the wolf mother within us.
The January wolf moon invites me to unearth the longing to re-connect myself to the wolf woman archetype dormant within me.
She is a creature of earth and spirit,
embodying the untamed essence of the wolf.
She is more than the sum of her wild parts,
a sensuous force,
a source of hightened intution,
embracing her primal instincts,
her sensuality intertwines with the wild,
like moonlight flowing through the roots on the forest floor.
Within the wolf woman sensuality is a sacred dance. She is expressive and honors her human spirit and the wilderness that pulses within her.
The wolf woman beckons me to explore the interconnected realms of passion and instinct, embracing the visceral and untamed aspects of my femininity. Reclaiming the woman alongside the mother.
(photograph found on pinterest, posted by LL)
As the great mother embodies it all, the wild woman, the wolf, the mother, the sacred feminine are all but one, and I am all.
How though, can I integrate all these parts of me?
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